Rocks

Certain kinds of rock, and certain famous rocks might at least have some kind of significance, but the average rock is not worth my time. Rocks are nothing to write home about.

Spats

Nobody in the world wears spats except for marching bands. They cannot be purchased in most stores because there is no demand for them. Spats do not serve a purpose.

Green Bananas

Green bananas are not a problem. If a banana is too green, I will not have to wait very long for it to ripen. Worrying about green bananas is a waste of time.

Blood Sausage

Blood sausage is not worth freaking out about. If I don't want to eat it, I don't have to. In today's culture, there is virtually no chance that I will ever be socially pressured into eating blood sausage. Blood sausage does not matter.

K

If the letter K did not exist, we could still phonetically spell pretty much anything by using the letter C and revoking C's ability to sound like an S. We wouldn't even notice after a week. It would barely be an inconvenience. The letter K does not matter.

The New Star Wars Trilogy

The new Star Wars trilogy does not matter. Star Wars is just a series of movies. If I become upset because the new films are not as good as the previous trilogy, then I am making Star Wars too much of a priority in my life

Abraham Lincoln's Sexual Orientation

Abraham Lincoln's sexual orientation does not hold historical significance. His preference between men and women has no bearing on his leadership or the legacy that he left on the United States. Abraham Lincoln's sexual orientation does not matter.

Gulper Eels

Gulper eels are not as terrifying as they look. They only live deep in the ocean where I will never go. I will never be in a situation where gulper eels are a factor.

Nostradamus

It does not matter if Nostradamus predicted the future. Even if he did, it still happened the same way as it would have without him. There are no consequences for ignoring Nostradamus.

Horse Racing

I have never been to a horse race before. This has not diminished my quality of life. I do not miss it. If I never go to a horse race, that will be OK with me. If I do go to one, it probably still won't have any effect on my life in the long run.

Monocles

I've never actually met someone wearing a monocle and I probably never will. If I had bad sight in only one eye I would just wear glasses where only one lens is corrective. Monocles do not matter

Radio

I never listen to radio. You can listen to the music you want to instead of radio and it's not like listening to the radio broadens your musical horizons because they just play the same songs over and over. Radio does not matter.

Messages in Bottles

I don't want to read anything written by someone that would put a message in a bottle and throw it in the ocean. It is basically just litter. Messages in bottles do not matter.

Jupiter

Jupiter is really far away and we won't ever go there. Plus it's basically all gas so what would we even do. Jupiter does not matter.

Kiwi

Kiwi do not matter. Kiwi can't fly and there aren't that many of them anyway. I do not care about kiwi.

Glaciers

Glaciers do not matter. I can outrun glaciers easily and they are nowhere near me anyways. I won't ever be crushed by a glacier.

Raw Milk

Raw milk does not matter. Nobody can make me drink it. Raw milk cannot hurt me.

Wolves

Wolves do not matter. Wolves have no bearing on me or my life. I can relax about wolves.